I’ve been
having a private party lately. It’s been
me, my angels, and my four walls surprised at how far I’ve come already. So I apologize once again for my absence, as
this experience thus far has been captive of my time and attention lately. Taking me on journeys to the deserts and
beaches of Namibia, I have simply been on a high lately. Aw, yes Namibia. I finally made it there after years and years
of fantasizing and longing to see the infamous sand dunes, I finally made
it. It was absolutely amazing. Digging my toes in the sand and allowing the
ice cold water of the Atlantic Ocean send electric chills up my spine, I felt
at home once again. Namibia was simply
wonderful.
I came back to Zambia to have a
special quest drop in on my private party.
My best friend made the long trip to come and see me, and although she
was anti-Africa for a while (it’s ok Rachel, you can admit it), she had a
blast. Our hitching days and vino nights
took us not only on a journey throughout Zambia, but on a spiritual and
emotional ride through past and present feelings of broken hearts, failed
relationships, love, laughter, forgiveness, and the challenges of moving
forward in life when the pain of holding on sometimes feels so much better. Yes, we owe James five dollars for crying
while we were together. He clearly won
that bet.
But despite the crying and large
amounts of wine and Adele’s “Someone Like You” and Lauryn’s “Tell Him”, the
best thing about having my best friend come visit was the simple security in
knowing that I’m not alone out here.
Through letters, phone calls, and visitors stopping by my party, I get
to share this experience with some of the closest people in my life. For that, I am extremely thankful. It’s not about the past love’s that let you
down or the one’s that couldn’t love you like we loved them, it’s simply about
the woman I’m allowing myself to become today.
If my private party has taught me
one thing thus far, it’s simply to fly high on the wings of forgiveness. Forgive because I have been forgiven. It was in Kenya few years ago when this
concept was first laid upon my heart by three amazing women and now I finally
understand, I finally opened my heart to what they were truly saying. Forgiveness is for me, not necessary for the
other person. It gives me the ability to finally let go and move forward in my
life. So to past loves, friends, and
even my dad, I have forgiven.
My private party is simply just
that. Me, my angels, and my four walls
proud at how far I’ve come already. But
if I didn’t remember what those three ladies taught me in Kenya, or Rachel
dropping in to visit and allowing me to be vulnerable and accepting to the
challenges happening in my life I simply wouldn’t be as comfortable and
confident in the woman I am right now.
So for now, things are really good and I’m just going to continue rock
out here in my party and enjoy the person I’ve become.
