Rainy Days and Sleepless Nights

There’s something about the village that simply makes everything okay.  The slow pace, the scenery, the silence, I’m not too sure what exactly it is out here that offers itself as a healing to every fear and insecurity I may have, but I welcome it, I embrace it, I need it.  I am amazed at how this place in a sense has become my sanctuary, a place that holds tears of laughter, and tears of pain.  A place that has taken me on a mental and spiritual journey, I can never, I will never forget.  This place is patient, not demanding of my time nor energy.  Not begging me to force out my emotions and thoughts at a premature stage just for the entertainment of others.  This place is understanding, it is my village, my home.

I’m in the middle of my last hot season and the beginning of my final rainy season.  Swamp ass, sweaty back, dehydration, a leaky roof, and insomnia are how I spend my days and nights.  My equilibrium has been off lately, my Zen not quite on point, so once again I apologize for my recent hiatus as the last couple of months have not necessarily been a roller coaster ride, but more or less a tornado of emotions, a hurricane of thoughts.  Ups, downs, highs, and lows cannot even begin to express my bipolar experience out here in the bush.  I swear sometimes I live the days out chasing, searching for sunsets wondering if the day coming to an end was a success, and if the night quickly approaching will lead to comfort.  I am exhausted, and work in the past couple months have kept me so busy that the highlight of my day is sitting on my front porch coloring with my kids listening to thunder in the distance, watching lightening paint the sky, as I do my best to enjoy the last bit of cool air I’ll receive for the day.

The rats are back, this time using my mosquito net as a trampoline while I try to slip into some form of unconsciousness.  The roaches have returned playing games of hid and seek under my water buckets, and the termites have moved from the polls in my roof, to the frame around my door.  With a dead rat in my roof that I cannot find, small bugs living in my flour I continue to use for cooking, and sand, dirt, and water in my bed from the rains, I’ve simply surrendered myself to much that this environment has to offer.  I told you I was exhausted.  It’s been over a year since I left America, 17 months to be exact.  And through every blood, sweat, and tear that I’ve shed, I’ve had a thousand more laughs, smiles, and awesome memories made.  I’ve meet people who have changed my life.  I’ve heard stories that will stay with me forever.  This experience has been nothing short of amazing thus far.  And despite the rat in my roof that is slowly decaying, or the walls that leak, or one of the 7,500 mosquito nets that I helped distribute that people don’t sleep under or use to fish with, I know, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.  Right here in my village, because there’s something about this place that simply makes things better.

Peace & Love,

Baby Cheers

I've Been Having A Private Party

          I’ve been having a private party lately.  It’s been me, my angels, and my four walls surprised at how far I’ve come already.  So I apologize once again for my absence, as this experience thus far has been captive of my time and attention lately.   Taking me on journeys to the deserts and beaches of Namibia, I have simply been on a high lately.  Aw, yes Namibia.  I finally made it there after years and years of fantasizing and longing to see the infamous sand dunes, I finally made it.   It was absolutely amazing.  Digging my toes in the sand and allowing the ice cold water of the Atlantic Ocean send electric chills up my spine, I felt at home once again.  Namibia was simply wonderful.

           I came back to Zambia to have a special quest drop in on my private party.  My best friend made the long trip to come and see me, and although she was anti-Africa for a while (it’s ok Rachel, you can admit it), she had a blast.  Our hitching days and vino nights took us not only on a journey throughout Zambia, but on a spiritual and emotional ride through past and present feelings of broken hearts, failed relationships, love, laughter, forgiveness, and the challenges of moving forward in life when the pain of holding on sometimes feels so much better.  Yes, we owe James five dollars for crying while we were together.  He clearly won that bet.

            But despite the crying and large amounts of wine and Adele’s “Someone Like You” and Lauryn’s “Tell Him”, the best thing about having my best friend come visit was the simple security in knowing that I’m not alone out here.  Through letters, phone calls, and visitors stopping by my party, I get to share this experience with some of the closest people in my life.  For that, I am extremely thankful.  It’s not about the past love’s that let you down or the one’s that couldn’t love you like we loved them, it’s simply about the woman I’m allowing myself to become today.

            If my private party has taught me one thing thus far, it’s simply to fly high on the wings of forgiveness.  Forgive because I have been forgiven.  It was in Kenya few years ago when this concept was first laid upon my heart by three amazing women and now I finally understand, I finally opened my heart to what they were truly saying.  Forgiveness is for me, not necessary for the other person. It gives me the ability to finally let go and move forward in my life.  So to past loves, friends, and even my dad, I have forgiven.

            My private party is simply just that.  Me, my angels, and my four walls proud at how far I’ve come already.  But if I didn’t remember what those three ladies taught me in Kenya, or Rachel dropping in to visit and allowing me to be vulnerable and accepting to the challenges happening in my life I simply wouldn’t be as comfortable and confident in the woman I am right now.  So for now, things are really good and I’m just going to continue rock out here in my party and enjoy the person I’ve become.

It took me 2 months to find the words...

Hello everyone! I'm guest blogging for Nia about the incredible experience I had while visiting Zambia. Although I've been back to the States for 2 months, I was literally speechless and couldn't quite come up with the appropriate words to describe my experience until now. From Jan. 27-Feb. 11, I traveled to South Africa and Zambia to celebrate my birthday but most importantly to visit my sister. As the eldest of 3, I've always been the "protector" so I was nervous about Nia being so far away from home for the first time. Well if you want to grow up quickly, join the Peace Corps!!

In my eagerness I accidentally booked us into Livingstone instead of Lusaka so we had to take a bus to Mazabuka to meet Nia. The bus ride was very nice and even rivaled American bus companies MegaBus and Greyhound (although it doesn't take much to do that!). Upon our arrival in Mazabuka, Nia strolled up to meet us looking so strong and beautiful, I almost cried! Six months in the bush and she looked so regal!

After a taxi ride we entered Nia's village and were greeted by her host family. Her BaMama even did a little dance for us! The village was really nice and of course I gravitated to the beautiful children hanging around.

They even helped me collect water from the borehole and loved looking at their pictures in my camera preview. I was overwhelmed by the joy illuminating from their little faces!! Needless to say I had a great time playing with them, blowing bubbles and dancing to Outkast!

The next day we went to visit Nia's clinic and were able to volunteer and assist with the "Babies and Children Under 5" day. We weighed babies and kids and helped Nia and the staff with their daily activities. It was great! After we worked, we went to Nia's bosses home and her family prepared us a delicious meal of shima, chicken and pumpkin leaves.

Nia loves playing with her bosses children and had a growling match with her oldest son! He was a "lion" that week! Needless to say, Nia loves the babies!! We all had a great time in the village and then took a very interesting time catching a bus back to Livingstone. Let's just say that trying to catch a bus back on Saturday morning was considerably more challenging than I ever would have imagined.

Back in Livingstone, I was able to check a major item off my bucket list as we went rafting on the Zambezi river! This is truly an incredibly exhilarating experience and I recommend it for anyone who loves a great adrenaline rush!Check out Nia's face, she's terrified!!

After rafting we stopped by Victoria Falls (one of the 7 natural wonders of the world) for a few quick photo ops.

All in all it was a wonderful experience and I would do it again and again. Nia is adjusting very well and I'm looking forward to visiting her at least one more time before her volunteer experience is over. If you can make the trip, go visit Nia! Zambia is a stunningly beautiful country and I am eager to get back there and explore the Northern province. Right before we left, I had the opportunity to ride an elephant on a brief safari and poise for some pics on the Zambezi!!

~Cheers

6 Months In...

Happy 6 month anniversary to me!!!  This experience continues to come with its ups and downs, but despite my many many challenges, I'm learning new things everyday and I'm counting my blessings.  A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you wonderful people back at home.  I had plans on writing a lot sooner, but as usual, my access to internet has been nonexistent for the past couple of weeks.  I'm sure you all had a warm and loving holiday season.  I spent my Christmas break in Choma, our Southern Provincial capitol with my volunteer family.  All I wanted for Christmas was for the termites to stop eating through my walls.  Apparently, I was a naughty girl last year, because Santa ignored my wish.  I returned to my hut in early January to find them not only eating through my walls, but also the support beams that hold my roof up.  Wonderful!  So when my roof collapses, you all will be the first to know.  I decided to live it up for New Year's and headed even further south to Livingstone to ring in the New Year at the amazing Victoria Falls and the Zambezi River.  Staying true to my bucket list, I went Bunji Jumping off the Falls for NYE.  Yes, I did it.  I jumped 111 meters off the Zambia/Zimbabwe bridge over looking the Victoria Falls.  I've always wanted to do it ever since I was a little kid and I can say, with all the confidence in the world, that I will NEVER do it again.  It was absolutely awful.  I just knew I was going to hit the water below.  I forgot that when you Bunji Jump, there is a yoyo aspect to it.  As I bounced up and down, all I wanted was for the experience to quickly come to an end.  My brain felt like jello after the experience, and once I was pulled back up to the bridge I just wanted to get back on solid ground.  Needless to say, I made the jump and crossed one more exciting adventure off my list of dumb shit to do.

I've been back in my village for about a month now, and I can honestly say that things are going well.  The rains have finally come which is beyond refreshing.  The extreme heat is gone for now, and I am so thankful.  The clinic continues to keep me busy.  I'm in the process of working on a few projects in my community regarding HIV/AIDS.  School is back in sessions and I'm working with the science teachers and health workers with their Anti AIDS and health clubs.  So with all that said, I'm really looking forward to my work this year.

Imani, Beverly, and Peanut will be here in Zambia in a little less than two weeks and I'm so excited for their visit.  I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time, and I cannot believe it's finally here.  I don't know if they're ready for village life, but they're stepping up to the challenge and making their way out to the African Bush. I will definitely let you all know how that experience goes.  Once again, I have to go and head back to the village.  I continue to miss and love you all and I promise to keep in touch.

Peace & Love,
Baby Cheers

Who's Really Keeping Score?

I've been living out here in the bush for a little over 4 months, and you would have thought that I would have mastered peeing in a hole by now. Well, not quite.  I am notorious for peeing on myself every time I go to use my pit latrine.  Even when I use my pee bucket at night, I still manage to get pee on my pajamas.  I tell you, I just cannot get it right.  Sorry for my absence, as I honestly have not been motivated to write anything lately.  The heat here continues to linger on, and although it has rained a few times bringing in a nice cool front, the minute it stops, the heat only returns with a bitter vengeance as to truly piss me off and immediately put me in a bad mood.

I have fully furnished and decorated my hut to my liking (I'll eventually put pictures up.  Sorry!).  I got a cat when I first moved in awhile back, and it shortly died there after (4 days to be exact).  I was deeply traumatized and upset for a good week afterwards mainly because for the small period that she was around, I had no evidence of mice or creepy crawlers anywhere.  The minute kitty was gone, the mice came back and quickly began to eat through my books on my bookshelf.  They even ate through my IPOD case!!!  I resorted to rat poison after Firefly died (that's what I named kitty, after my favorite sweet tea vodka from back home), which did help a lot, although it came with a major problem.  Finding the dead mouse after it after the poison.  I left out poison one night on a piece of tomato as instructed and awoke the next morning to find it gone.  Good!!!  Mouse be gone I thought.  Nia 1, Zambia 0.  Two days later, I awoke to a Satan awful smell of what I could only describe as rotten intestines.  I searched my hut high and low for whatever and wherever the smell could be coming from.  After being sadly unsuccessful, it wasn't until the third day that I moved an item from up against my wall to find, yes of course, a dead mouse being eaten by thousands of maggots!  Needless to say, I threw up in the back of my mouth and sadly admitted a change in score.  Nia 0, Zambia 1.  Victory was no longer mine.

This present hoilday season has left me extremely sad lately and memories of home only make me feel worse.  I was super excited to spend Thanksgiving with the other volunteers and after bragging to everyone about how I make the world's best stuffing, it was only appropriate that I take on that task for our big dinner.  Unfortunately, the package I got sent from home also contained Caress body soap along with my Jiffy Cornbread mix and poultry seasoning I use in my dish, so in turn my infamous stuffing ended up tasting like soap.  I was deeply depressed and let down at dinner.  None of the other volunteers complained, as I could tell that they say the disappointment in my face.  I was too sad to even eat desert and ended up going to bed early that night.  Nia 0, Zambia 2.

When I arrived back in my village after the Thanksgiving break we had, I was greeted with tons of termite mounds on my walls and mice droppings.  This is the joy of living in the bush and having a house built out of mud and grass.  Once again Nia 0, Zambia 3.  I did get another cat which made me happy because living with mice is something I can no longer do.  It looks exactly like Firefly who died, which kind of freaked me out for a while and its eyes are really milky and one eye doesn't really open all the way.  I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the damn thing was blind, which would be the ultimate prank this country could ever play on me.  But for the time being, Belvedere ( I named him that after my other favorite vodka) and I are going to kick it out here in the bush.

I am continuing to work hard and stay busy at my Rural Health Clinic.  I've been working along side the staff on projects such as HIV/AIDS awareness, maternal and child health, and water sanitation.  Child Health Week (Nov. 7-12, 2011) was a huge success in the village, and as far as I am concerned, the BEST form of birth control a girl can get. I spent five days straight under the hot African sun weighing and deworming thousands of little snot nose kids.  They cried, they kicked, and they screamed for five straight days, but in the end, it was a pretty cool experience.  I am currently working closely with a clinic staff member to formulate ideas and projects we want to collaborate with each other after the new year.  The plan is to work two days in the clinic and three days out in the community doing different outreaches.  Hopefully getting into the schools and doing health talks to different grade levels around issues of safe sex, HIV/AIDS, STI's, and nutrition.  I also plan on working with the different clubs the schools have to offer like, the Anti-AIDS club and safe water sanitation clubs.  I am just trouble shooting right now and working with different ideas, but as usual, I will keep you all updated.  I have to run thanks again for staying in touch and until next time.

Peace & Love,
Baby Cheers

There's A New Mikuwa in Town

So, my village finally finished building my house in the village and I have officially moved in.  My set up is pretty cool and I am honestly happy.  I stay in a two room mud brick hut with a grass roof.  I continue to pee, poop, and bath outside although those structures are not yet completed, so when I go to use the bathroom, any Zambian passing by gets to see all of my American goodies.  Of course my house came with rats that live in my roof and come down at night and make a ton of annoying noises which keep me up and paranoid like crazy of them attacking me through my mosquito net like they did Adam in the Dominican Republic.  I am getting a kitten, but it is still too young to leave it's mother, so for the time being I just deal with it and clean up tons of rat poop the next morning.  I also live with termites, which really isn't too surprising considering the fact that my village built my house right in between two large termite mounds.  I spray so much Doom in my house on a daily basis, I'm surprised I have become addicted to that stuff.  It is still painfully hot in this country that I have decided not to light my brassier cause the thought of creating an open fire with this heat kills me.  So, I've just been eating tuna out of the can and drinking warm Kool-Aid ever night.  Now if that's not poor white trash out here in the bush, then I don't know what is. (Thank you family and Beverly who sent me tons of tuna.  I appreciate it.)  Mikuwa is the term for foreigner, so everywhere I go in the community, people stare, point, and scream, "Mikuwa, Mikuwa, Mikuwa".  I kindly stare, point, and scream back, "Zambian, Zambian, Zambia".

I LOVE working in my rural health clinic and the opportunities I have there will only strengthen my nursing career.  The entire staff is super nice and well educated, and plus there is electricity and running water, so I put tons of stuff in their refrigerator to stay nice and cold.  I really don't think that I am supposed to be doing that, but I really don't care.  It's hot here!!!

Halloween in the bush was a lot of fun, and thanks to Beverly who sent me tons of chocolate, me and my volunteer buddies had a blast camping outside my hut and pigging out on some good American candy.  It's little things like camp outs and pig outs with other volunteers that make life out here not so hard.  I remember the first Sunday I spent in the village was honestly an extreme low and down for me, as I found myself for the first time really missing all aspects of home.  I remember talking to one of my volunteer buddies about it, and while on the verge of tears with the thought of every memory home has to offer, I held on to what my good friend Nicole had written to me in a going away good luck card she gave me back in July.  "Remember Why Nia."  Remember Why you chose to do this and hold onto that memory, and most importantly stay happy.  You know, I find it very interesting that when we feel that we are at our lowest lows and down in spirit, that God has a way of redirecting our attention to what is really important.  Remember Why Nia!  Nicole wrote that to keep me focused and motivated, and in a moment of weakness and loneliness, I read it just at the right time.

Things have been much better since, and I am extremely thankful for people God has created and put specifically in my life.  Continuing to take things one day at time and remembering why I am here makes all the difference.  Thank you all once again for all the love and support while I'm out here in the bush.  As always, I promise to keep you all updated on my stories.

Peace & Love,
Baby Cheers!!!

Nobody Should Ever Expience This Much Pain...

I came to Africa and did the one think CeCe told me not to do...get Malaria!  I spent all of last Friday with a sky high fever, nausea and vomiting, extreme join pain, chills, and a headache from Hell.  I threw up twice on the side of the road along with having explosive diarrhea and resorted to pooping in plastic shopping bags once again.  When I finally made it to Lusaka to receive medical treatment, my official diagnosis was Dysentery and Malaria, and as I laid in my hospital bed crying and too weak to move from all the pain I was in all I could think about was how much fun Abbie, Imani, and AJ are going to have in St. Kitts without me this Christmas break, and if I died right then and there, I just hoped that those ladies had an amazing time on my favorite island.  But with all of the love and support from my friends and family back home and my girls down here in Southern Province with me who held my hand, rubbed my back, and told me countless time how much they loved me, I was discharged from the clinic on Saturday afternoon feeling a lot better thanks to a miracle drug the CDC has created for Malaria treatment and enough pain meds and antibiotics to cure all of Haiti from any Cholera crisis they may still be having.  Malaria f**king sucks, but the treatment and services that I received in Lusaka were amazing and I am extremely thankful and blessed to have had such wonderful nurses and doctors.

Training is finally over with and after 11 weeks of intense language and technical skills acquired, 32 Peace Corps trainees swore in at the US Ambassadors house on October 7, 2011 as official volunteers. After much hard work and preparation, my village has finally completed my house and I am moving in today.  I am so excited and as much as I enjoyed staying in the Provincial house in Choma with running water and electricity for the past week while my village finished work on my house, I am ready to move back into the village.  It's funny how that works.  When you are in the village, you can't wait to escape to the city, and when you are in the city, you can't wait to get back to the village.  All I know is that I'm ready to make my new hut my new home and get back to work doing what I do best in the clinic.

The weather here is still Hot as Hell but according to every Zambian I have encountered, the rains will come on October 24, so that leaves me with less that a week to move into my hut and Malaria proof the Hell out of it.  I'm praying that they hold off at least until early November but I highly doubt it.  So despite how hot or wet it gets here from now until the end of my service in this country, I am wearing long sleeve pants and shirts with socks included and bug spray cause if I have to suffer another episode of that Satan virus, I may just surrender myself to the Heavens above.

Halloween is coming up and in attempts to continue to enjoy the traditions I grew up with, I am having a Halloween party in my hut.  I am super excited, but of course really cautious, cause the last thing I need is my village to think that I am the American witchcraft worshiper who is thinking about bringing bad spells within the community.  I sure as Hell don't need to deal with that but as always promised, I will keep you all updated on what end up happening.  Now that I no longer live in the Lusaka area, I have a new mailing address for right now that all you wonderful people can have to send me holiday goodies if you please...or if you feel like sending me sports news since my best friend Rachel is slacking on her weekly updates of football scores, I would greatly appreciate that as well.

Nia Cheers/PCV
PO Box 630569
Choma, Zambia

As always, my internet time is running low and it is time for me to go back to the village.  Until next time when I can update you all on my life out here in the bush...

Peace & Love,
Baby Cheers!!!